Best Depression Treatments

By Peter O’Neill

I’ve written many articles on depression and it would be wise to read them all.  This article is more about building resilience for when the depression lifts and everyday starts to get better than the day before.

 

By the way, the previous sentence is actually one of the best affirmations of all for
overcoming depression! Repeat in your mind that ‘every day is better than the day before’.

As a therapist, coach and mentor I have helped many people overcome depression.The most common and worthwhile advice I give my clients who are working through depression is to start preparing now for what your life is going to be like once the depression clouds shift.

I know this seems a little absurd because all you really want now is for the depression to be gone.  But people who have had depression and suddenly get happy and well
again tend to crash and even end up in a worse state than they were before.This happens when the root of the depression has not been identified and a person has also not developed emotional resilience tools to get them through times of crisis and stress.  It means the recovery has happened too quickly and cannot be sustained.

When we are talking about breaking through depression, we need to think of the process as being a  nice steady rise, where everyday gets better than the day before. It needs to happen slowly, slowly, softly, softly and steadily up, up, up, out of the cloud of depression and into the warm sunshine again.

Those who have had personal consultations with me know that one piece of advice I almost always give at the end of the session is “Now don’t go out there and get happy again, there’s nothing worse than a depressed person who gets happy!” It’s a bit of humour with the truth behind it being to remember the following advice and tips for
building emotional resilience.

First, just imagine that each day is better than the one before.How does that look for you? You’re on the improve; the sun is breaking through; you start to feel flashes of positive feelings and emotions; energy levels are rising; passion, ideas and inspiration start to flow through your mind; your head is clearing and the fog is lifting; you start to exercise and think of joining a sport or going to the gym; you find yourself being chatty again; the light of hope and optimism returns and you think that maybe soon you can get off your med’s; intuition is back; you start to feel lucky; libido is returning; you start getting decisive and make choices; you feel solid, almost bullet proof; gratitude for life is back and you start to feel in-tune with your spiritual self again.  “Ahhh I’m back at last!’ you hear yourself say.

The power of your mind and visualisation is such a key element to overcoming depression, so write out the above (old school – that is by hand!each day for a month. Always end with the affirmation ‘Every day is better than the day before’ and watch your reality change! You need to know and believe that you will get what you focus your mind and emotions on. 

Okay, so now the work begins.  You now have a vision of what life is like for you on the other side of depression and know the journey you need to take to get there. What you need to do now is think about and mentally prepare for what may bring you down again.

Here are my top 10 areas to contemplate and be aware of:

1.      TRIGGERS

It is vital to be aware of your personal triggers and the word trigger. It is a great word tool for communication where you can easily express the areas that bring you down or cause a reaction. They are different for everyone and you will be surprised that what
triggers you may not trigger other people. Some triggers everyone shares - like happy people to a depressed person.  When I was depressed I really got triggered from happy, passionate people where everything was going well for them.I really hated that! When people tried to make me ‘not depressed’ and try to control me, telling me what to do, say or think, that really triggered me.  When others criticised everything I had to say or had to have
their opinion every time I spoke I used to think “why can’t people just listen?I got triggered when people assumed I was depressed and tried to help me, when really I was just feeling normal. Why don’t you ask me how I’m doing before presuming my mood?” and “Why don’t they presume that I am relaxed and
quite content? Why do I have to be bouncy and happy looking all the
time?”

Anything to do with money also triggered me, especially the endless amount of bills that come in and the feeling that it not only wasn’t going to stop but was only going to get worse!

Sex triggered me and having to always be the initiator or pleaser, or so I thought anyway.
Be aware of your personal triggers? Who? What? Where? When?

2.      BALANCE

Too much of anything will tip you out of balance, even good, healthy and happy things. It is vital that wealth, wisdom and change happens slowly!To be healthy and balanced, we need a bit of everything including exercise, work, rest, fun, play.

Check my article on Major Life Areas for more on this topic.

3.      ABC OF LIFE – Always Be Careful and Avoid Bad Company

When you start to feel great again, we often forget and drop our guard, so be
vigilant and careful not to do what you know triggers depression and
avoid anyone who has a negative energy or will influence you in anyway
negatively and out of balance. This isn’t negative - it’s more about knowing what you boundaries and limits are.

4.      3 BUSINESS THEORY

There is only 3 businesses.1 - My business 2 - Other People’s business and 3 - God’s business. Stay out of other people’s business and keep them out of yours. What other people think about you is none of your business - it’s their business alone. You don’t have to do, say,
think or feel anything that you don’t choose to.

Watch out for doing things out of obligation rather than as your own choice.

Stay out of God’s business too, if you care about the starving kids in Africa then
sponsor one or two and let God take care of the rest. Let God run the world or become a world leader yourself. Just focus and be lovingly selfish about you and your business for a while.

5.      SEX ENERGY

Too much sex and wasted sex energy on masturbation or fantasies is not a good idea as it fosters your mind to focus on unrealistic or short term and instant gratification when it needs to be focused on building resilience and long term happiness. People lose a lot of energy to sex.
Sex and making love is a wonderful thing and needs to be in balance.Don’t let sex rule your life by having too much of it. If you are in a sexual relationship and not going there you have to make sure you do.  Make an effort and get that most powerful energy flowing.

6.      THE ART OF CONFRONTATION

The art of confrontation is “know thy point. ”

 

We lose energy having to explain, justify and make excuses which for other people are often never enough and they just don’t get it anyway so have your point and stick to it. You don’t have to engage with someone that just picks at different things and just wants an arguement. For example, someone close may ask you and want to know all the ins and outs of your day and you do have the choice of saying over and over “it was a pretty
good day, same old – same old, pretty good.”

This may not satisfy them but that’s not your business! Remember that questions and answers are not your friends, so watch out for people that ask too many questions. These situations put you on the back foot by having the pressure of answering all the time.

Expression is great and should be a natural process rather than a Q and A. Wondering what may be is great too and leads to feeling wonder-full! Often times too
many questions just leads to more of the same. I often answer questions with “yeah I wonder…”

7.      DIET AND ADDICTIONS

 

 

Balance is the key and so be mindful that ‘you are what you eat’. Know what foods and addictions make you feel low. Focus on long term balanced diet and never go to extremes! No bingeing! Enjoy and learn to get in-tune with your body that says
“that’s enough” or “that doesn’t work for me”.

8.      TOO MUCH RIGHTEOUS INTEGRITY

Too much love can be described as smother-love and too much care and concern for doing the right thing and having high expectations, values and religious beliefs can bring you down.

It’s just like playing golf - you do need to hit the ball but not too hard or it gets frustrating and the ball does not go straight.
Religion can be a good thing except when people get too righteous with it. Their perfectionism and self righteous attitude can cause depression and excludes their family and friends from wanting to be around them.

There are a lot of things about the world that maybe you don’t understand and are maybe just down right insane. You are not the Master of the Universe. There are some things that you cannot change. Watch out for having too much integrity.
Also, it’s okay to do a half arse job or be lazy from time to time. Its okay that you don’t make your best efforts absolutely every day, forgive yourself and others for not being perfect and for having what I call a ‘human weakness day’.

9.      BEWARE THE 5 SABOTAGES – DOUBT, QUIT, TIRED, STORIES and PAIN

Watch out for self DOUBT, it is always there and is the only thing
quicker than the speed of light. Let it be there as a guide to make
sure that you are not doing anything silly but do not let it take hold
and stop you from breaking through fears!

 

QUITTING starts in your head as thoughts from self doubt so have a strong resolve and belief in yourself where you know there will be obstacles, and you know you may
fall down and fail time and again, but you will get up and you will
succeed in the end.

 

If you are getting 6 to 8 hours sleep, then chances are that it is the depression that is triggering a TIRED program.  This program is running when you feel yourself getting drained around people.If you are running a ‘too tired all the time’ sabotage then know that you want to be more relaxed, not tired!

 

Watch out for negative STORIES and self talk that takes you back to depression. Replace negative self talk with visualisations and power statements that may take 50 times of saying them to start to work.

 

PAIN is real but the fear of pain is a sabotage which is why many gyms try to get in the perception of ‘no pain, no gain’ because people run all the other sabotages when in fear of pain.  

 

Have a ‘I’m doing it anyway’ attitude when it comes to the 5 Sabotages. Doubt may be there but I’ll face it and do it anyway! I might end up hurt and I could get smashed but I’m going to do it anyway!

 

 

10.     TOO MUCH THERAPY

Many people trigger back to depression by getting too much therapy which can just keep re-triggering and bringing up the past. Many times, people keep going to therapy long after they need it as they become fearful that the depression will return immediately if they stop. As each day gets better, slowly reduce the
therapies to be in-line with how you are feeling.  Maybe prepare to change to a performance coach or business coach as you reach success.

On the other side of this is the fact that you do need a good coach or therapist and one that empowers independence. Watch out for the kind who want you to come back once or twice a week - they are creating co dependence! Think of a good therapist like a coach where if you want to get good at golf, you get a few lessons and once you are where you
want to be then just check in a few times a year. If your goal is to be a pro golfer then it is ok to go each week to help you reach your potential but don’t make it out of the fear of falling into depression again if you stop going.

Many people invest millions into a house, career and education but can’t break through and spend a few thousand per year on the most investment for life – you!

Enough for today.

I hope this helps.

www.peteroneill.com.au